For the first time in a long time, I was able to smile.

That first smile hurt a bit.
It was full of doubts and dreams and I wanted the pain to cease,
But it refused.

My heart is healing in every thought.
It is a new sensation.  And reminiscent of the innocence of my youth.
I am caught in a web.

And when the view is clear, I see you.
I see the god in you.  There is a glow around you.

I watch you sleep and it reminds me of who I want to be.
Honest and hopeful.  And I weep.
Not from a weakness, but from a past shed.
A day of redemption and honor.
And I weep more. The pain is so real.

I continue to watch you – peaceful and secure.
Trusting and mature.
I feel my mission pushing through your skin.
To protect and provide and all that goodness.

I sit back and stare until I match your breath.
You comfort me from a slight distance.
I smell your skin.  My loins awaken.
But I have mellow, calm thoughts each time I see your face.
I am proud in the moment.

Your curves are bursting through and I praise them too.
They deserve to be captured in song.  A muse.
An angelic spirit, striving for righteousness.
Self-determined.
Focused.

I dream.  It is a sensual dream.

Full of love and lust and lost and found trust.
My stance becomes real and I smile.
This time the smile doesn’t hurt as much.
And I sigh, take in the next breath, and close my eyes.

Again, take in the sweet smell…  and again.
Feel your presence travel the ether.
To meet me.
To join me.  Grab hold of me.

We can create these bountiful dreams.
Day after day after day. Night after night.
I am honored to be in your life.
Lay still. I watch over you tonight.
Simmer in the summer warm. I will cool you.
Shiver in the winter’s cold. I will cover you.

If this is the beginning of the rest of my life,
Then I am pleased. And now I am protected.

I am blessed.

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